IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket, and you wish to complain to the supermarket. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter, say who are you give details about the accident suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents

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Dear Sir / Madam I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about a minor incident that happened yesterday inside the supermarket. I have been a regular customer of your store for the
last
Linking Words
 two years and mostly I prefer to visit on the weekend. I did not experience any incident at your convenience store till yesterday and my grocery shopping experience has always been excellent. As usual, yesterday I was doing my regular shopping in the frozen food section and suddenly my foot
gets slip
Wrong verb form
slipped
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 water spilt on the floor that I did not notice at first because there was no
safety
Use synonyms
 sign.
This
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 mishappening led to a small injury on my left ankle, but if there was an elderly person
instead
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 of me
then
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 it might have caused more hazards. From
this
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 experience , I would suggest placing
safety
Use synonyms
 signs inside the store to prioritize the customers'
safety
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, staff members should alert the customers about the incident areas to prevent any incidents.
Safety
Use synonyms
 inspections should be done on a monthly basis to minimize these kinds of hazards in the future. I hope you will take
this
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 into consideration for
customers
Change noun form
customers'
customer's
show examples
safety
Use synonyms
 or prevent future concerns. Yours faithfully, Kirandeep Kaur

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coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clearly defined idea to maintain focus and clarity.
task achievement
Although your tone is appropriately formal, you could strengthen your task achievement by providing a more detailed account of the incident, such as the exact time or specific location within the store.
coherence cohesion
The letter contains a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a logical structure that guides the reader effectively.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and formal, which is suitable for addressing a complaint to a business.
task achievement
The use of suggestions in your letter shows a proactive approach towards preventing future accidents, thereby achieving the task requirements.
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