IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?

#street #shops #business #years #development
In
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
recent years, a lot of
smal
Correct your spelling
small
smaller
 sized workplaces have run out of commerce. It is bad progress and
m
Add an article
the
show examples
ain cause is monopoly companies, in the essay I will highlight the drawbacks of
this
 development. People around the world rely on the procedure of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their
governmets
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 to ensure their rights
such
 as education and health these are known as
a social merits
Correct the article-noun agreement
social merit
show examples
 for human life and it represents the equal life for everyone, but some business companies have
an incredible advantages
Correct the article-noun agreement
an incredible advantage
incredible advantages
show examples
 all over the world.
Such
 as tax,
liqiud
Correct your spelling
liquid
 money, networks over countries. So they can move
easily
Replace the word
easier
show examples
 than
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a small sized store
small sized stores
show examples
small sized
Add a hyphen
small-sized
show examples
 stores and
this
 situation create big injustice.
for example
 Starbucks is a coffee chain and it has many branches in the country. If
c
Add an article
the
show examples
ompany decide the open new a branch on street and assume that there are local
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 shop
then
 that
coffeshop
Correct your spelling
coffeeshop
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
compete
Change the verb form
competes
show examples
 with Starbuck because of its price policy.
Submitted by emrecan44 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
  • 7.5
    band

    Many teenagers now have their smart phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion?

    The young generation is addicted to advanced technology. Mobiles are one of the highlighted gadgets which can be found in the hands of every single youngster in the country. It can be beneficial in numerous ways from my perspective because smartphones can not only perform their basic functionality but also provide features that are essential to make activity easier. This essay will elaborate on both viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs.
  • 5
    band

    ln many parts of the world, children are given more freedom than in the post. ls this a posifive or a negative development?

    Children now-a-days can enjoy a lots of flexibility and independence in many certain aspects of their life in many countries and cultures. This is almost a new trend as previously they were not able to enjoy such leniency. In my opinion, this new trend of providing children their freedom of thinking and doing things at their own is a positive development. Although there might be some negative aspects of being derailed from their track due to lack of proper guidelines, these can be resolved by endowing freedom at a certain stage when they will be able to distinguish between what is good and harmful.
  • 5.5
    band

    In Some Countries An Increasing Number Of People Are Suffering From Health Problems As A Result Of Eating Too Much Fast Food

    In these days, there is a fact that the number of people have health issues because of overusing junk food is increasing. Hence, some people believe that the authorities should enact a higher tax for these kinds of food. I totally agree with this viewpoint because it will help to decrease the people’s demand on fast food and it also encourage people cooking healthy meal at home.
  • 8
    band

    It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    Some people argue that it is not feasible to assist everyone in the world, and therefore governments should prioritize the needs of their own citizens. I disagree with this view and believe that governments have a moral obligation and a strategic interest to help other countries as well as their own. In this essay, I will explain why I think global cooperation is beneficial for both humanitarian and economic reasons.
  • 4
    band

    Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What are the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime.

    In many societies around the globe, the offense rate appears to be increased, specifically by youngsters. In this essay, we will discuss the core causes of this trend and possible solutions. Nowadays, the gravest reason for this situation seems that the relation between entertainment media which shows violence, and crime scenes, and young people who are watching and hearing those contents most of the time. These violent imaginaries affect the children’s behavior and characters negatively. At a young age, most kids are not capable of clarifying the distinction between right and wrong actions by themselves. It might lead them to commit a crime or to have a temptation of offense. So, to prevent this situation, authorities need to concern more seriously about the creator of those contents, and if it is needed, they should tighten the restrictions for the upcoming media content. Similarly, families need to pay more attention to what their kids are watching and hearing. If it se...