Some people think that families have the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think other factors such as television, friend, music. etc. gave biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed by certain individuals that families have the strongest influences on a child's evolution and others said there are different factors affecting it. Both sides of the argument will be discussed in
this
essay, followed by my own perspective on
this
matter. In one hand, in
this
technology era, we cannot deny the role of TV or friends in children's social and cognitive increase in both positive and negative directions. In today's sophisticated era, it is difficult to avoid children's daily activities from the influence of various existing technologies.
For example
, a child cannot be separated from entertainment called television, which is the film or series he watches on TV channels. They saw how the actors acted as heroes to fight crime.
However
, it is often to see fighting scenes are shown, as the result, the children bring them to real life and injure their friends . In the other hand, parents are a place where the children spend most of their time. Parents' role in guiding and encouraging the advancement of their children cannot be underestimated. To illustrate, parents are role models for their children almost in every aspect of life.
In addition
, they will advise and direct their children when they behave defiantly. Paying special attention to education and serving nutritious food are concrete examples that we always encounter . In conclusion, every part in children's life has
i
Add an article
an

The noun phrase impact seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
mpact on their developments, whether the parent's, television and friends.
However
, I believe that parents' impacts on their children's improvement were most heavy than other effects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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