IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

It is wrongly believed that films only corrupt us but the fact is that they can also educate us. Do you agree or disagree?

#films #fact
In today’s world, movies
form
Verb problem
play
show examples
 a big role in the community, in which we can grasp a good or bad sense of life.
Although
, most people mistakenly think that cinema would destroy society
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
in reality, people get motivated
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 it. The essay will argue to what extent
this
 is true. 
Firstly
, the majority of cinema definitely leaves some strong message for the public, they may show what is really happening in our world and how we tend to react towards it.
For example
, a movie like Three Idiots provides an important lesson on how to succeed in life and gives many messages regarding survival.
Additionally
, watching these types of movies
also
 enhances our ability to think, and express ourselves. So, most of mankind would be enlightened by seeing it.
Secondly
, despite the fact that many films include some bad and erotic scenes, to attract the attention of the masses, several of them have a powerful message even
while
such
 scenes are part of the content .
For instance
, the movie Slumdog Millionnaire picturised the seamy side of the cosmopolitan city of Mumbai, which had child abuse, gangsters and a whole lot of questionable content in it.
However
, these aspects were part of the story and raised awareness of the plight of children in
slums
Correct article usage
the slums
show examples
 of India. Once again the movie had an uplifting theme which was not meant for cheap titillation.
To conclude
, great motion pictures have a great impact on culture and despite some bad ones
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
teach us important lessons
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 life especially when they
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 to do with other parts of humanity. I strongly agree with
this
 statement that well-made feature films are important to influence the growth of our nation in
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
directions
Fix the agreement mistake
direction
show examples
.
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting arguments in favor of the idea that films can educate us, despite the common belief that they only corrupt. However, the essay could benefit from providing a more balanced view by addressing potential counterarguments as well.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is generally clear and well-organized. However, there are instances where the development of ideas could be more thorough, and the flow of the essay could benefit from stronger transitions between points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: