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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is wrongly believed that films only corrupt us but the fact is that they can also educate us. Do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s world, movies
form
Verb problem
play
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 a big role in the community, in which we can grasp a good or bad sense of life.
Although
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, most people mistakenly think that cinema would destroy society
but
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apply
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in reality, people get motivated
from
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by
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 it. The essay will argue to what extent
this
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 is true. 
Firstly
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, the majority of cinema definitely leaves some strong message for the public, they may show what is really happening in our world and how we tend to react towards it.
For example
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, a movie like Three Idiots provides an important lesson on how to succeed in life and gives many messages regarding survival.
Additionally
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, watching these types of movies
also
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 enhances our ability to think, and express ourselves. So, most of mankind would be enlightened by seeing it.
Secondly
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, despite the fact that many films include some bad and erotic scenes, to attract the attention of the masses, several of them have a powerful message even
while
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such
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 scenes are part of the content .
For instance
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, the movie Slumdog Millionnaire picturised the seamy side of the cosmopolitan city of Mumbai, which had child abuse, gangsters and a whole lot of questionable content in it.
However
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, these aspects were part of the story and raised awareness of the plight of children in
slums
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the slums
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 of India. Once again the movie had an uplifting theme which was not meant for cheap titillation.
To conclude
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, great motion pictures have a great impact on culture and despite some bad ones
would
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apply
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teach us important lessons
of
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in
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 life especially when they
are
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have
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 to do with other parts of humanity. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement that well-made feature films are important to influence the growth of our nation in
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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directions
Fix the agreement mistake
direction
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.

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting arguments in favor of the idea that films can educate us, despite the common belief that they only corrupt. However, the essay could benefit from providing a more balanced view by addressing potential counterarguments as well.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is generally clear and well-organized. However, there are instances where the development of ideas could be more thorough, and the flow of the essay could benefit from stronger transitions between points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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