Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children.

#life #grandparents #children

Whether

lifestyle

Correct article usage

the lifestyle

show examples

of today increases the quality of life and the pleasure of individuals

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

debated by sociologists for the

last

decade. We are in a technology peripheral and

cutting edge

Add a hyphen

cutting-edge

show examples

devices control and adjust how we organize our daily routine and how we behave in public. We are all connected via the internet and can communicate with each other just in seconds. On no account can an individual refuse the beneficial side of the new communication style. We are living in

such

a way that our ancestors could not even dream.

Although

life is still not easy enough for some

people

, I firmly believe that nowadays lifestyle is much easier than the previous periods of humankind because technology helps us to make our life easier.

Firstly

, today's, humans are in touch with each other at an unprecedented rate. Someone can call or reach his/her friend via

android

Capitalize word

Android

show examples

and

ios

Correct your spelling

iOS

show examples

apps even without paying a charge. Twenty years ago,

people

were paying a fortune for calling any friends living abroad. Today we can do it freely and limitless. All we need is to know the phone number or the nickname of the person we want to connect.

Moreover

, connecting with

people

all around the world

pave

Correct subject-verb agreement

paves

show examples

the way for cultural integration.

For example

people

in distinct and even far countries are looking much more similar than a century ago.

Secondly

, the quality and speed of transportation are increasing owing to technological improvements.

Aeroplane

Correct article usage

The Aeroplane

show examples

industry is using

this

development vigorously.

For instance

, aeroplanes that have three floors and are faster than sound

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

produced

recently

Rephrase

apply

show examples

by German engineers.

Moreover

, the automobile industry is affected and enhanced by

cutting edge

Add a hyphen

cutting-edge

show examples

technologies. Research and development departments of oligopolistic automobile firms are concentrated and motivated to utilize artificial intelligence in the cars they

produced

Wrong verb form

produce

show examples

. Their purpose is to invent driverless cars.

The

Change preposition

In the

show examples

aftermath of

this

invent

Replace the word

invention

show examples

, we will be able to use our cars without driving

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

To sum up

, our lifestyles are changing at a very fast rate. Our

lives

are getting easier. Contrary to others, I strongly maintain that our

lives

are easier than the

lives

of the previous generations.

Furthermore

, the

lives

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

generation will be easier than ours.

Submitted by sabrikurtoglu on Tue Oct 06 2020

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grammatical range

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

369 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays the crime rate among young people is increasing. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done by parents and teachers to reduce it?