Many people believe that we should protect all wild animals while others believe we should just protect some of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Wildlife is a significant part of our ecosystem,
however
as technology
progressed
Wrong verb form
progresses
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, many of
such
habitats are lost or destroyed.
While
some
people
argue that all wild species should be protected, others think that only a few should be prioritized. I concur
to
Change preposition
with
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the former thought, because every living creature is important, and it is our responsibility to preserve them. In
this
essay, we shall discuss these two topics
further
.
Firstly
, every living being deserves to live peacefully, and
hence
people
ought to preserve all wild species.
This
is because they benefit both us and the environment;
for example
, the hippos even though their size and appearance seem intimidating
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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contribute immensely to the water supply of the forest by forming tributaries or pathways for rivers to return to the forest.
Moreover
,
the
Change preposition
from the
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largest living creature to the smallest everyone contributes to our ecosystem
one
Change preposition
in one
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way or another.
Secondly
, many forests and lands have been consumed by humans over time for agriculture or development.
Hence
, it indirectly falls on our
shoulder
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shoulders
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to provide shelter to the displaced animals.
As a result
,
people
urge
Wrong verb form
are urged
show examples
to assist and preserve every animal.
On the contrary
, some believe that a limited amount of creatures should be saved.
This
due
Add a missing verb
is due
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to the fact
the
Correct your spelling
that
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animal preservation is expensive and time-consuming,
instead
people
should spend on other resources
such
as education, health or technology.
Furthermore
, it is practically impossible to sustain every wild animal and there are various problems around the corner;
for instance
, economies and health sectors are falling down tremendously worldwide, and countries should spruce these aspects in order to create a better livelihood for everyone.
Consequently
, individuals think that only a selected number of creatures should be prioritized. To summarize, there are two sides to an argument;
therefore
,
although
the opinion of saving some animals seems plausible, I opine that as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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being
Add a comma
being,
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we all ought to protect all wild animals.
Nevertheless
, wildlife plays a pivotal role in our planet’s well-being.
Submitted by tasbeauty.nature on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Good structuring of ideas and arguments. Ensure that your examples are more specific and relevant to the points you are making.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task and presented a well-structured response. However, consider providing more specific examples to further support your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
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