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Band 6

In the past, many people had skill such as making their own clothes and doing repair to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing. Why do you think this change is happening? how far is this situation true in your country?

#people #skill #clothes #repair #house #countries #skills #change #situation #country
Needless to say, in the
last
 century, a lot of individuals had various techniques
such
 as creating wood furniture by themselves and making their own garments. But as our technology have been developing quickly in
this
 day and age, those techniques have been fading. In
this
 essay
Add a comma
,
show examples
I will attempt to outline the reason regarding
this
 topic and discuss the issue in my country. To commence with, no one can argue with the fact that technologies bring our life more convenience than the past, indeed. people purchase their own garments in the cloths shop
instead
Add the preposition
of
show examples
making by themselves. In
this
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
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, our garments are making by manufacturer, they have a lot of
machine
Change to a plural noun
machines
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 which can make garments faster than make by their own hands.
Moreover
, in the capital city
Add a comma
,
show examples
we can find out many affordable furniture or
iteam
Correct your spelling
item
 to satisfy our needs. In the past, they didn’t
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 enough resource they can found in their town
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 people had to
created
Change the form of the verb
create
show examples
 by themselves,
thus
, our ancestor
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to learn various of techniques in order to satisfy their daily needs. Setting a said the reason accorded with
this
 trend.
This
phenomenal
Replace the word
phenomenon
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 is happening in my hometown. Taipei city is a capital city in Taiwan, in
this
 forest of modern buildings we can buy every product we need
such
 as sofa, costumes and ingredients to name a few.
Hence
, all we need to do it is going to the shop and pay, so people don’t need to wast their time and power to make it .
Consequently
, people wouldn’t learn any relevant skill.
Naturelly
Correct your spelling
Naturally
, those
skill
Change the determiner
skills
show examples
 have been disappearing in our life. To sum up, in
this
 day and age, the marketing can satisfy our needs rapidly, thank
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
our technology is bring our life
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier than past,
on the other hand
, we lose an opportunity to learn
n
Add an article
a
show examples
ew skill.
Submitted by atruru0427 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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