IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What are the effects of this?

#students #work #results #time #education #pressure #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, students
work
Use synonyms
 while studying which often results in lacking
time
Use synonyms
 and constantly feeling pressured.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the causes and effects of
this
Linking Words
 problem. I believe the two main causes
for
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem are educational expenses and living expenses.
Firstly
Linking Words
, colleges charge a huge amount of fees which leads to students to
work
Use synonyms
 in order to pay it off.
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,most students pursue their education outside their hometown which results
into
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 them working to meet their daily expenses.
For instance
Linking Words
, a foreign student would have to
work
Use synonyms
 to be able to pay his rent and pay for his daily groceries.
This
Linking Words
 shows that student is required to
work
Use synonyms
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
in order to fulfil their educational and everyday expenses.
This
Linking Words
 will have many negative effects on a student’s life. The major effect is that the student will not be able to focus on their education effectively which will result
into
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 bad grades or even worse.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will cause them to feel pressured and stressed out with no relaxation
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 would lead them to
living
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 an unhealthy lifestyle. A study has shown that approximately 58% of college students in Europe find it stressful to
work
Use synonyms
 and study simultaneously. Students
also
Linking Words
 waste a lot of precious
time
Use synonyms
 looking for a good
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 job.
This
Linking Words
 shows that working while studying has a negative impact on a student’s life. In conclusion, students have to
work
Use synonyms
 to meet their expenses which results
into
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 them having a negative impact on their educational life.
Submitted by ehte477 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: