Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

#success #terms #money #somebody #wealth #measure

Expert throughout both the developing and developed world have debated whether using the amount of funds income is useful to judge an adult as having a successful soul or not. Personally, I strongly disagree.

This

essay will discuss why I believe that it is not a good measurement of success based on salary income you have earned. On the one hand, from the aspect of personality development,

although

a person possesses a lot of cash, he may not have a happy activity as well as an enjoyable social activity. He cannot easily make a close relationship with his friends.

For example

, those in the upper social class group of people would easily divorce. If they have a large amount of fund without intimate friendships or relative support, I trust that they will not have a fantastic and balanced soul.

Therefore

this

is not a beneficial measurement for a wonderful soul.

On the other hand

, having a balanced and positive psychological mind is an excellent tool to claim the human being whether he has a successful activity or not. For those young adults who have positive thinking to solve the problem, they are available to spread the wonderful mind to the other colleagues during a difficult period of time.

For instance

, according to a study of Oxford University, with those types of characteristics people do not have a negative mind even they need to overcome dark and harsh tasks. In conclusion, wealth is one of the tools for people to live in a country which is not the most important factor to review a person to be a successful man or woman.

Submitted by tina fung on Sun Oct 11 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

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