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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one?

#schools #phones #development
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Mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 are being widely used by kids
over
Rephrase
all over
show examples
 the globe these days.
While
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 these devices can play a role in connectedness and safety, many schools have restricted
the
Correct article usage
apply
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access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these devices on campus. In my view,
this
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 is a positive development and I believe that
this
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 change can make a positive impact on
children
Use synonyms
's academic
as well as
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 physical life.
Firstly
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, restrictions on mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 in the classroom itself can improve concentration
while
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 learning.
This
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 is simply because, if there are no sounds of notification beeps or typing on mobile
phones
Use synonyms
, students can concentrate fully on what teachers are teaching.
For instance
Linking Words
, if there is a continuous sound of notification pop-ups
then
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children
Use synonyms
 can't control their urge to check notification updates or any social media updates.
As a result
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, they fail to pay full attention to learning.
This
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 can have a
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 impact on their academics. So, banning
phones
Use synonyms
 in the classroom is a positive development.
Lastly
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, the ban on the use of
phones
Use synonyms
 on campus can improve
children
Use synonyms
's physical development. The reason for
this
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 is that, if
phones
Use synonyms
 are not banned on campus
then
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children
Use synonyms
 will be busy with their
phones
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
 of playing on the ground with their friends.
For example
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, many
children
Use synonyms
 can be seen
from
Change preposition
in
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 a school where mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 are allowed, playing online games
in
Change preposition
during
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 recess time
instead
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 of playing on the ground. Because of that, they cannot fully evolve physically.
Hence
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, it is a positive sign to ban the use of
phones
Use synonyms
 in school.
To conclude
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, despite
phones
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are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 part of modern lives, I strongly feel that their use should be restricted in order to grow
children
Use synonyms
 academically
as well as
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 physically.
Submitted by dsaurabhc on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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