many university degree holders cannot find a job in their chosen profession. what factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it ?

#university #holders #job #profession #factors #situation

The COVID situation has affected businesses worldwide.

However

, It has become an increasing phenomenon for graduates to secure employment in their chosen field. There are various factors that bring forth

this

unconventional situation. The 2 main key factors that play a significant role in

this

scenario. It is quite often that parents of said students decide which profession their children must pursue regardless of its scope and opportunity. Parents tend to completely disregard their children's strengths and capabilities and suggest general professions that the student might not have the passion or aptitude for.

For example

in India, It is quite stereotypical for

biys

Correct your spelling

boys

to become engineers and girls to become doctors.

Secondly

, The increasing population rates have made securing employment quite a challenging task. The cut-off rates for acceptance

increases

Change the verb form

increase

show examples

year upon year to ensure only the brightest and best of students avail

such

opportunities.

This

leaves out everyone else who missed it by a mark or two. In my opinion

Add a comma

show examples

I personally believe that government needs to educate parents on deciding their children's fate based on their passion and capabilities whilst making significant changes within the system to ensure harmony between jobs created and graduates available.

Submitted by ehte477 on Sun Oct 11 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

197 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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many university degree holders cannot find a job in their chosen profession. what factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Anyone can use a mobile phone to answer the work call and home call at any place, or 7 days a week. Do you think there are more negative or positive effects on both individuals and society?

Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation.to what extend do you agree or dis agree.

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The rise off social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

“Nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career.” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What could parents do to build a sense of discipline among children?