Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #person #phone #access #internet #money #unemployment

It is believed that the unemployed should be provided with mobile phones and Internet access, all expenses covered by the state, in order to reduce the unemployment rate. (mention public money). My opinion,

however

, is somewhat different, as neither those in need

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

nor the local businesses would benefit from

such

an approach.

Firstly

, despite the fact that Internet access is considered one of

Add an article

the

show examples

asic human rights, it neither guarantees employment

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

nor provides skills necessary to get a proper job. The dreams of people becoming software engineers, musicians or speechwriters are somewhat utopian, as it requires not only a 5G connection and a handheld device

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

a great deal of talent and time to become experienced enough to catch attention (?) of an employer.

For example

, there are many online courses for web developers, yet those who have taken these courses are highly unlikely to pass an interview and get a job due to

an extremely fragmented knowledge

Remove the article

extremely fragmented knowledge

a piece of extremely fragmented knowledge

show examples

Therefore

, Internet access fails to substitute traditional ways of becoming an expert and getting employed.

Secondly

, in order to address the problem of unemployment, the government should invest public money in local businesses rather than giving away end-user mobile devices to those in need. The rate of unemployment often correlates with the ability of local companies to provide enough jobs.

Moreover

, a wise policy on small businesses could persuade people to start their own ventures,

further

reducing the numbers of those seeking the job.

For instance

, fresh entrepreneurs in Russia are allowed to pay

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

taxes over a reasonable amount of time; they are

also

being supported by additional initiatives on a per-region basis. Conclusion!

However

tempting it is to provide unemployed people with mobile phones and let them solve their own problems, it does not seem to be a good idea in a long term, compared to governmental support for local businesses, including new ones.

Submitted by esteps.kirillov on Tue Oct 13 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Cyber insecurity is a rising problem in many countries. What problems does a lack of cyber security cause to Internet users? What solutions can you suggest to solve it?

Task 2 Although more and more people read news on the internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news. Do you agree or disagree .

You are organising a trip to Paris, France for a group of students from England. Write to the manager of the Youth Hostel Association in Paris. In your letter, explain when you want to visit Paris how long you will stay how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries today, the eating habit and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some are of the opinion that this had negative effects on their health. What is your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with this idea.