IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working hours has a negative effect on themselves, their families and the society, so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

In today’s society, working long hours has become a part of the daily routine. More and more workers have extended their working hours, and
this
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 has resulted in adverse effects on themselves, their families and the communities. I strongly believe that working hours should be limited and my opinions are
further
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 discussed with relevant examples.
First
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 of all, a few decades ago, the average daily number of working hours was significantly lower than the present, and they had a better
Use synonyms
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
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 balance. Nowadays a lot of positions in different spheres are hourly basis and
hence
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 people tend to earn more by working for a longer period of time. By working too long, they often become tired, lazy and reluctant to carry out the physical exercise in order to remain fit and healthy and eventually loose
health
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 and become sick.
Moreover
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, they become extensively addicted to their
work
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 and they destroy their social
life
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. The repercussions are so severe that their families and friends remain deprived of their attention and in the end, they end up losing the balance between their family and personal
life
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. Another reason is that spending most of the time in the workplace can be helpful in terms of our career growth and other
work
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 targets. But, as they usually spend most of their time at offices, they tend to neglect their
health
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 and exercise, resulting in various types of severe
health
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 issues.
For example
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, a survey by WHO on the effects of longer working hours on the brain outlined severe harsh impacts on overall
health
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.
Thus
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, to conclude, it can be
finally
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 said that working longer might help people achieving their temporary and short-term goals but to lead a healthy and
life
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, a
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work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
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 balance is extremely important.
This
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 can only be achieved by joint efforts by people and government, so they can enjoy
this
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 planet’s resources and the ultimate gift of God, human
life
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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