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Band 4.5

It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed?

#obesity #today’s #society #availability #food #governments #place #tax #amount
In the present era, world’s people are facing the ultimate fact that our young generations are experiencing severe
health related
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health-related
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 illness from the very beginning of their life and it is due to
excess
Replace the word
excessive
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junk
food
 consumption. To forbid the worrying condition, the state is approaching some essential steps and one of them is an enhancement of taxes on convenience
food
.
Thus
, I partially agree with the given opinion. As in today’s world, it is one of the most sparkling heated debates. I believe that our leaders should have an eye for finding out some other solutions because only increasing the taxes on fast foods will not hamper the ratio of
junk
food
 intake.
First
 of all, as we know that, our teenagers are the prime customers for the convenience meals, where most of them are unaware of
d
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the
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evastating
health
 hazards of eating
junk
 foods. At the same time we can ask, is it their fault? I don’t think so. They should be made aware of the long-term consequences of
junk
food
 consumption and it is plausible in several ways.
For example
, broadcasting
health related
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health-related
show examples
 adverts on children’s TV channels, introducing topics into their conventional education regarding dangerous
health
 effects on fast
food
taking
Change the form of the verb
take
show examples
.
In addition
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
, parents could play an important role in combating
this
 worldwide problem by giving their children proper advice and guidelines of having
Correct your spelling
balanced
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b
Add an article
a
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alance diet.
Moreover
, nowadays people are leading a busy pace of life.
Thus
 they scarcely think of their regular diet, even some of them have no idea about what they are eating.
Therefore
, people are depending on takeaway meals for their daily livelihood. The government should impose rules on the working schedules so that folks could enjoy their meals with adequate nutritious knowledge. To conclude, in some of the global areas folks are becoming more habituated to convenience
food
 despite realising that they will suffer from heart diseases, obesity and dyslipidaemia in very near future, where only raising the
food
 revenue will not slow down the tasty and unsafe
junk
food
 consumption.
Submitted by nabilahothman.769 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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