The percentage of overweight children in the western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.Discuss the causes and effect of this disturbing trend.

#percentage #children #society #ten #years #effect #trend

Nowadays, it has been observed that the number of overweight

children

is increasing. The percentage of overweight

children

has increased by 20% in the

last

year.

This

essay will discuss the causes and effects of

this

problem. I believe there are 2 major factors which are responsible for

this

problem.

Firstly

, an unhealthy lifestyle plays a key role in increasing the weight of a child. If a person sits ideally without participating in any outdoor activities, there is no chance for him to burn calories which leads them to gain weight.

Secondly

, the consumption of unhealthy food

also

results in gaining weight. People tend to have a bite of junk food

such

as chips and chocolate very frequently which slowly deteriorates our health.

For example

, a survey has shown that 68% of people eat junk food on a daily basis. There are quite a few negative effects of being more

weighed

Correct your spelling

weighted

show examples

. Primarily, it leads to obesity which is a serious threat to health. It has been noticed that it is very difficult to recover from obesity.

Moreover

, it makes you feel tired consistently. There is a lack of efficiency in completing any tasks.

There

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

is a great waste of energy.

According to

a recent survey, 56% of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

who weigh above 70

kgs

Fix the agreement mistake

show examples

find it extremely difficult to complete simple tasks in their everyday

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. In conclusion,

children

should try their best to be healthy and participate in outdoor activities.

This

would help them to live a very long life.

Submitted by ehte477 on Wed Oct 14 2020

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task response

Task response: The essay addresses the causes and effects of the increase in overweight children, but the discussion lacks depth and complexity. More specific examples and analysis are needed to fully address the task requirements.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay. Additionally, the essay could benefit from clearer transitions and connections between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

251 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The percentage of overweight children in the western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.Discuss the causes and effect of this disturbing trend.

Fully explain your ideas

112.In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

in the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. to what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Demand for oil and gas is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity.do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?