You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, - give details of your study plans - explain why you want to get a part-time job - suggest how your friend could help you find a job

#country #study #job #friend #lives #help #plans

Dear Jay, Hope

this

letter finds you in radiant health and

best

Correct article usage

the best

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of spirits. I'

writing to let you know that I'

coming for my future study in the same country where you are living. Actually, I'

able to work 20 hours per week during my study. Let me explain my situation, you know my family's financial situation and I don't wanna put more burden on them and

this

Remove the redundancy

apply

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is the main reason why I'

interested in

part-time

Add an article

a part-time

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job.

Moreover

, with the help of

this

job, I can easily manage my all expenses by myself and it will be

good

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a good

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achievement for me. Would you kindly, help me to find

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ob. Because you are living there for many years and you are totally aware of the area around you. So you can easily find

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

part-time work for me by using your contacts. Thank you for your consideration. Yours lovingly, RUSHI

Submitted by rushipatel1953 on Fri Oct 16 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

153 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Educational aspirations
Work experience
Financial independence
Resume (or CV)
Local job market
International student
Legal requirements
Student work permit
Employment trends
Time management
Networking
A part-time position
Balance studies and work
Job hunting strategies

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