IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #inventions #phones
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that people are more isolated because of advanced technology
such
Linking Words
 as smartphones.
However
Linking Words
, I think that there are some positive impacts followed by innovation.
As a result
Linking Words
, I partially agree with the argument. People rely on the
internet
Use synonyms
 too much. They use it for business, social, and entertainment. Those things can be done just
in
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 a
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it becomes the whole world of them, and they seldom go out anymore.
This
Linking Words
 will cause a serious problem that they do not have the social ability and are afraid of face-to-face interaction.
For example
Linking Words
, one of my friends is a homebody. She spent most of her time
at
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
watching
d
Add an article
the
a
show examples
rama, using social media, and even making
n
Add an article
a
show examples
ew friend on the
internet
Use synonyms
. Now, I seldom have the chance to hang out with her, and she
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not know how to talk with us happily.
This
Linking Words
 kind of product does make people more isolate than before.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
those
Change the determiner
this
show examples
 technology brings lots of advantages to our life. It not only changes the way we contact
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
each other but
also
Linking Words
 makes people keep in touch more. People now are using social
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 to catch up
Verify preposition usage
on
with
show examples
the latest news of our friends. In
this
Linking Words
 case, they know more about each other and talk more easily with the messages.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 creates a chance to make friends who are sharing the same interests.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend finds her boyfriend on the
internet
Use synonyms
 and they are enjoying
in
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
having the same habit.
Lastly
Linking Words
, people can keep in touch
of
Verify preposition usage
with
show examples
 each other without the barrier of distance. Through video calls, we can chat with friends who are studying abroad.
This
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 one method to
c
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ompany with them. In conclusion,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
technological gadgets make people devolve
them self
Correct your spelling
themself
show examples
 too much on the
internet
Use synonyms
, and they have less will to interact with people face-to-face.
However
Linking Words
, it still builds many chances
to
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
 people to stay in touch.
Submitted by a2993241 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: