Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

I highly agree with

this

topic. Many people like to listen to

music

. Most of them listen to the

song

with their smartphone these days, and there are so many

music

player application has been made. We can find almost every

music

that we want to listen even though It is an old

song

. Here are the few reasons why I agree with that concept.

Firstly

music

can represent the culture when it was composed. It would contain a specific style of rhythm and the lyrics which are famous at that time.

Therefore

, if the younger

generation

listens to the

music

which had made before they were born, they could assume the atmosphere of that time and imagine the mood.

Also

, if the older

generation

people listen to recent pop

music

, they can understand what young people think these days.

music

makes an opportunity for communication between the older

generation

and the younger

generation

For example

, the genre of Korean

music

‘Teurotue’ is really popular in Korea. Normally ‘Teurotue’ is considered only senior’s

music

However

, the competition program of ‘Teurotue’ was released

last

year and it got so famous. That tv show makes everyone enjoy that

song

and now,

that is

not the old

generation

’s

song

anymore. In conclusion,

music

is one of the biggest parts of the culture and

also

easy to access. It can connect not only from kids to adults but

also

all over the world. It makes people can understand the culture of other countries.

For instance

music

can make people together even if they are from different countries.

Submitted by Hailey Ryu on Fri Oct 16 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

In most countries fast food is becoming cheaper and more available Do you think the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people find it difficult to manage their money. How could the goverment help prevent debt problems and support such people?

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Do the advantages of using computers for learning outweigh its disadvantages?

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nuritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?