IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some children have a natural ability to grasp foreign languages and for that reason it should not be a mandatory subject in the academic curriculum. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #ability #languages #reason #curriculum
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Learning is the best means of communication.
Children
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 very well capable of learning a foreign
language
.
Due to
this
, A section of the society informs not to include a foreign
language
 in their
syllabus
. I strongly disagree that it should impact on their future.
This
 essay will provide reasons and support to add
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
 as required
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
To begin
 with, A section of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
requesting
Wrong verb form
requested
show examples
 the government not to make
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 foreign
language
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 mandate
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
This
 would impact their mother
language
while
 speaking or writing. They cannot
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shine if
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 foreign
language
includes
Wrong verb form
is included
show examples
 in their
syllabus
.
For instance
, In India, the German
language
 made
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mandatory in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
syllabus
 in some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary schools.
Due to
this
,
children
 find it difficult to follow the grammar of the German
language
 as it is very tough to learn them.
On the other hand
,
children
 have
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 good
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
understanding the foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 until 5 years old. Scientists said that
children
 can learn more languages at
early
Correct article usage
an early
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
,unlike adults.
Although
 some of the languages are
confusion
Replace the word
confusing
show examples
,
children
 do not find it difficult in it.
Moreover
, they can help their parents in terms of accent and grammatical mistakes which parents usually do.
Hence
, we should not make the
language
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
optional in their academic year. We
also
 support
children
 who find
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
show examples
 to learn
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 foreign
language
 by means of encouraging Quiz competition and some other techniques to make them easy. In Conclusion, we should support
to add
Change the verb form
adding
show examples
 foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
syllabus
. I believe
this
 would help
children
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn it and it would be highly beneficial in their future in terms of education, employment and so on.
Submitted by jithendra0610 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all aspects of the essay prompt are addressed in more detail. Provide a clearer thesis statement and support it with specific evidence and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing the paragraphs more effectively to improve the flow and coherence of your essay. Use transition words to connect ideas smoothly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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