1. The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Since renaissance some people always
o
Add an article
the
an
show examples
pponent idea of
art
.They think
art
useless and
time wasting
Add a hyphen
time-wasting
show examples
activity. But in
m
Add an article
the
show examples
odern world
Add a comma
,
show examples
people believe
art
,
music
or other visual craft makes people happier.In my opinion
Add a comma
,
show examples
art
is one of the most important things in society.
Firstly
governments income comes from tax.All people who live in a
country
pay their tax for good
service
.
This
service
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
changes in every
country
but in
d
Add an article
the
show examples
eveloped
country
make a good balance between
puclic
Correct your spelling
public
service
expenditures to
art
,
music
.If government
invenst
Correct your spelling
invest
invests
mucis
Correct your spelling
music
or
art
these
Change the determiner
this invesment
show examples
invesment
Correct your spelling
investment
became a valuable cultural thing
For instance
Add a comma
,
show examples
music
is some of the most successful industries in Korea. Every year lots of tourists come to Korea for concert or musical.
This
way their financial economy grove up steadily.And the other example is holland, peoples are come to visit the museum for seeing
art
masterpiece.
Secondly
Add a comma
,
show examples
art
and
music
is not just
a
Change the article
an
show examples
economical thing
also
help people for caring
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
their mental health.In
m
Add an article
the
show examples
odern
country
Add a comma
,
show examples
a lot of people suffer from mental diseases like anxiety or depression. a lot of people takes different types
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
all pills.
This
is
v
Add an article
a
show examples
ery huge economic burden for
g
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment.
However
Add a comma
,
show examples
some researchers
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
art
or
music
is remedies for
this
kind of mental diseases.If
g
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment invest
art
therapy palace their economical burden will decrease. To sum up
Art
and
music
very important for people life.Government invest
art
as much as public
service
.
This
way every
country
will be developed.
Submitted by islekebrarr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • public services
  • economic benefits
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • equitable access
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • prioritize
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • tourism
  • global recognition
  • holistic development
  • mutually exclusive
  • philanthropy
  • subsidize
  • infrastructure
  • socio-economic status
  • altruistic
  • civic engagement
  • aesthetics
  • civic pride
  • utilitarian
What to do next:
Look at other essays: