IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose
It has been subject to debate
that
Remove the determiner
apply
show examples
whether museums play a greater role in education or entertainment.In my opinion
Add a comma
,
show examples
it seems to be both of them acceptable in
s
Change the article
the
show examples
ame pathway as enjoyment or educational.
firstly
 ,a great conviction can be made by indicating the range of facilities they offer for joy.A good illustration of
this
 they exhibit their value cultural artistic and scientific
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
 in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
ttractive way supporting sound commentaries with
h
Add an article
a
the
show examples
eadset to use.
nevertheless
 museums play a pivotal role in entertaining all people in spite of age gap with depicting statues imaginary beings and items which show roots of human civilisation.
for instance
 tools which
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 used for hunting in "stone age". nobody
deny
Change the verb form
denies
show examples
 that facilitating sound resources for educational purpose
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a great opportunity who do research. anybody can absorb knowledge on ancient history which are portraying powerful strength of our ancestors.Certain museums are fully equipped with electronic access
of
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 information and trained staff for guidance. to sum up
Add a comma
,
show examples
by balance approach towards both of
a
Add an article
the
show examples
bove views it can be easily made a sound environment for education and entertainment.
Submitted by islekebrarr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: