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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

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Due to the limits of national budgets, many today are fiercely debating the proper level of funding for the arts and
education
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. While some argue that the arts have important historic value, I side with those who recognize the societal value of
education
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. On the one hand, many insist that the arts are an important reminder of national history. A good example of
this
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 would be the countless paintings of historic events and key figures that became prominent and fashionable during the Renaissance. These pictures now deepen not only our understanding of those events but
also
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 the psychology and values of the individuals producing and becoming patrons of art at that time. It is
therefore
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 likely that art made today will
also
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 give important clues to future generations as to the history and character of their ancestors.
On the other hand
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,
education
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 is the key
for
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to
show examples
 the progress of a nation.
This
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 can be most clearly seen in developing countries. After World War II,
for instance
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, South Korea’s economy was decimated and there were few pathways to a stable nation. The government invested massively in
education
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 and the result is some of the most important companies in the world were founded ranging from Samsung to LG to Hyundai. These companies contribute to the economy and have greatly raised the standard of living for all citizens. I believe efforts to fund
education
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 like the one detailed above have a clear and tangible impact. In conclusion, art is important for its value in terms of history but
education
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 is by far more important for its economic effects. Governments should strike some balance but prioritise
education
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.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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