Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the modern era, many organizations are well-developed and updated, so the employees are asking the workers about their personal details like hobbies, interests and marital status. Some
people
think it is useful and others disagree with
this
statement. In
this
essay, we will discuss both views.
To begin
with, some
people
agree with the statement of employers who are asking about the personal information of employees because they think it will be more beneficial for their company.
For instance
,
people
get their bank loans easily because of the age and experience details of the employer.
Additionally
,
people
can apply for family medical insurance and
also
provisional funds.
Moreover
, employers can organize some training programs based on experience so
this
kind of benefit is based on the employee's personal data.
On the other hand
, some
people
are against the employer’s requirement
due to
some personal data being shared with banks and the bank staff are forcing employees to get loan offers.
For example
, my close friend, recently got a personal loan offer from the bank
then
he is now struggling to pay the money.
Apart from
this
,
people
are thinking about sharing too much of personal details which will be a scam.
To conclude
, today’s world companies are well-developed and updated. Some
people
think sharing personal information with the organization is a good thing for getting insurance, loans and training programs. Others are scamming money from the workers. Both should be encouraged and it is based on everyone's situation
Submitted by saravanan.ko2011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your main points are well-developed with clear and detailed examples. Currently, the essay presents valid points, but they could be backed with more specific and detailed examples to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Refine the sequence and connections between sentences and paragraphs. While the essay is generally cohesive, there are areas where transitions could be smoother for improved logical flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You address both perspectives on the topic and provide a balanced view, which is essential for fulfilling the task response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: