IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many researchers believe that we can now study the behaviour of children to see if they will grow up to be criminals, while others disagree. To what extent do you think crime is determined by genetics? Is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

#researchers #study #behaviour #children #criminals #crime #genetics
It is argued that, through scientific studies, a
child
's tendency to commit criminal activities in their adulthood can now be predicted, while others, with an opposing view, say it
otherwise
. In my perspective, there is a little link between the genetic make-up and criminal acts, and that there is a big chance that young people can lead a peaceful, non-violent life through the right nurturing in which I will discuss
further
 in
this
 essay. Throughout decades of researches, the question of nature versus nurture prevails. Nature is synonymous to one's set of DNA
that is
 passed from generation to generation, while nurture conveys to one's upbringing. In the context of making a criminal, ones' set of code has a tiny contribution. It is true that some moods and mannerisms are inherited by the offsprings and it can be evident when they grow up, but people are
also
 given with rational thinking in order to execute life decisions. Through examples of adults surrounding a
child
, it can either develop into a negative or positive circumstance,
hence
 nurturing.
For example
, there are twins who were separated at birth that somehow got to meet each other and found out that they have the same gestures and ways but have a totally different set of behaviour.
On the other hand
, the younger population can grow up to be law-abiding citizens. As stated above, nurturing a
child
 is a necessary element in rearing years. The fundamentals of making
this
 happen are through the right guidance at a peaceful setting where basic and emotional needs can be met. In conclusion, scientists can gather various information about children's' personalities, ways and thinking, but in my perspective, it is not the genes that can determine future criminal activities but rather the environment and supervision a
child
 gets. Ensuring a safe place and correct upbringing, the actions that break the law can be prevented.
Submitted by mizzy_ash on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: