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Band 5.5

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#people #families #care #homes #trend
Nowadays, is really common to see more old people in
care
 homes than in their own houses.
This
 is because many families do not have
time
 to look after them or they do not have families. In
this
 essay
Add a comma
,
show examples
I will
further
 discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the advantages and disadvantages
about
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
 going to a
care
home
. There are some good things to go to a
care
home
. One of them is that people who work there
such
 as nurses, physiotherapist etc. have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
previous studies,
therefore
, they have a lot of knowledge and skills in many ambits that families may not have.
For instance
, many families who take elderly people to a
care
home
 is not just because of their
time
 shortage is because they do not have skills of how to do some things.
Moreover
, some families do not go to visit their elderly’s to their
home
,
hence
, that could make them feel abandoned ,
however
, being in a
care
home
 they got the insurance that all the
time
 will be someone to attend their needs. In
Add an article
the
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, no everyone may adapt to be out of their homes. Many old people refused to go to a
care
home
 because in there can make them feel that they have lost their privacy or will probably need to change their habits
such
 as times to wake up, have lunches or go to sleep.
Furthermore
, in
care
 houses have a huge amount of people to look after so it is possible that people who work there could not attend all the times their needs. To sum up, I think that
care
 homes have its good things for people who do not have family or they do not have enough
time
 to look after them, but, the commodity and privacy that you can find in your house you will not find in another place.
Submitted by claudiagirl997 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Professional care
  • Medical attention
  • Trained staff
  • Social interaction
  • Combat loneliness
  • Safety and security
  • Relief for families
  • Loss of autonomy
  • Emotional impact
  • Cost
  • Financial strain
  • Quality of care
  • Neglect and abuse
  • Detachment from family
  • Mental wellbeing
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