IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The increase in food production owes much to fertilizers and better machinery, but some people think that it has a negative impact on human health and community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#food #production #fertilizers #machinery #people #impact #health #community
The recent improvements in eatable
production
has
Change the verb form
have
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 provoked critical controversies over the possible damage caused to the consumers. In my opinion, despite there are several benefits from the improved food
production
 techniques,it is the root cause for many long term
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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 issues. On the one hand, with the use of enhanced
fertilisers
 and modern machinery, food
production
 has increased threefold.
To begin
 with,
fertilisers
 are essential to increase the capacity of plant
production
, and they accelerate the
plants
Change to a genitive case
plant's
plants'
show examples
 growth cycle. Drastically, the cost involved in farming is reduced with
fertilisers
 and leads to more
production
 in
s
Add an article
a
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hort time.
For example
, rice plants take around 4 months to grow from their seed phase.
However
, with the application of
fertilisers
, the growth cycle is reduced to 2-3 months. In a span of 4 months, the rice crop can be produced twice, which is not possible using traditional farming methods.
On the other hand
,
fertilisers
 have several detrimental effects on human
health
. Plants produced using natural manures have more nutritional values compared to the one’s grown using
fertilisers
. In order to promote the growth,
fertilisers
 use chemicals and inorganic substances which have
n
Add an article
a
show examples
egative impact on our
health
.
For example
, Chemicals like phosphorus, phosphate are abundantly present in
fertilisers
 which are harmful to people’s
health
 when consumed on long term bases.
Therefore
, plants produced using organic
fertilisers
 or manure have more benefits compared to the plants produced using artificial
fertilisers
. In conclusion,
although
 there are benefits using
fertilisers
 for crop
production
, I am still convinced that organic plant product is more beneficial to the human race.
Submitted by srivupputuri on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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