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Band 6

It is important for all towns and cities to have large outdoor public spaces such as speared and park. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#towns #cities #spaces #park
In
this
 contemporary society, the question of whether all towns and cities should be expanded and build public spaces
such
 as speared and estate have been receiving a great deal of attention.
Although
this
 trend is not without disadvantages, the upside will justify significantly. The commendable features an imperfect point of
this
 heated question will be thorough as follows. It should be started ưith the obvious disadvantages of
this
 trend.
First
Add a comma
,
show examples
of foremost, the government allows the construction of additional utility areas, that will take up space for school, hospital, and factories. In fact, using some land for creat public space, which makes waste space to build things that are more necessary for the people and affect economic development.
Furthermore
, by creating more speared or playground, it will be costly financially.
This
 means that, in order to build a public area, they need to much money and will charge the fees from residents. In brief, people should take these disadvantages into consideration.
Nevertheless
, I hold the belief that it imperfectness is inevitably far outweighed by the preeminence.
First
 of all, if the government consider to construct more park or speared that will get more utilities for the citizen.
This
 means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 people can have a place for hanging out and doing exercise, relax and recharge people’s energy which will receive community support.
Second
, since open and develop a forest,
this
 can improve the environment because more trees will be planted.
For instance
, more garden will be opened, trees and flower will be repaired, it can reduces air pollution thanks to photosynthesis. To recapitulate,
this
 advantages of
this
 trend will be far more significant than those disadvantages. The government should consider places and areas suitable and financial in order to create a public area for citizens.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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