The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society?

#students #science #university #effects #society

It is undeniable that

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

education

is fundamental to

educate

Wrong verb form

educating

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students

However

since

Change preposition

show examples

the

last

few years, there

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

a significant decrease in the count of

students

who study in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

medical field. In

this

essay, I will discuss the reasons behind the massive shift including

high paying

Add a hyphen

high-paying

show examples

education

and difficulties

to secure

Change preposition

in securing

show examples

a job,

along with

its negative implications for society. The pivotal factors that are responsible for a decline

such

as expensive

education

and job insecurity. It is seen that in order to pursue the M.B.B.S degree one

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

to pay higher fees which is a herculean task for the vast majority of

students

Also

, sometimes degree holders have to face immense difficulties in order to secure good job positions because employment demands reference and previous experience.

As a result

students

get disappointed and alleviate their admission

Change preposition

show examples

science

stream.

For example

, a student with

fresh

Correct article usage

a fresh

show examples

doctorate degree

denied

Add a missing verb

is denied

show examples

by the

hospitals

Fix the agreement mistake

hospital

show examples

due to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

lack of experience.

Thus

above-mentioned

Correct article usage

the above-mentioned

show examples

are the causes for a change. The trend could bring some potential cons to the community.

Firstly

, the incessant drop of

students

in the medical stream could lead towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

far worse outcomes because there will be a decrease in the number of scientists, doctors, nurses,

science

Correct word choice

and science

show examples

educators,

then

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

several positions will be vacant in the hospitals and people have to wait for a longer time for the treatment. The situation could put people's lives at risk.

Secondly

, the government of our country needs to hire

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

science

experts from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different nations, which will affect the economic structure of our country, as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

doctors and teachers from other countries will charge high

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

For instance

, the investigators of NASA are in high demand and quite expensive for another country.

Overall

, our society will face

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

problems

due to

the inclination of the

science

group in the universities.

To conclude

, people's preferences have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

changed these days as only a few

students

opt to study

science

for higher

education

. The essay has discussed why it is happening and its effects

for

Change preposition

show examples

the individual as a whole are myriad, which needs to be addressed to keep the number of

science

students

constant.

Submitted by sumandeepkaur450 on Sat Oct 24 2020

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coherence cohesion

The introduction is not clearly focused on the task question, and the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points of the essay. The logical structure is weak, and the essay lacks coherence and cohesion.

task response

The essay partially responds to the task question. It discusses the causes and effects of the decline in the number of science students at university, but the discussion lacks depth and thoroughness. More specific examples and comprehensive ideas are needed to fully address the task.

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

366 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perceive
challenging
demanding
humanities
exposure
discourage
financial incentives
shortage
skilled professionals
technological progress
innovation
economic growth
global challenges
scientific literacy
informed decisions

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The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Scientists agree that many people eat too mucch junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion

University students must pay all tuition fees, because it benefits mostly them individually, rather than the society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time.

some government spend a lot of money on exploring space, some feel that this investment is justified while others thinlk that money should be spent on public services like healthcare and education. discuss both views and give your opinion.