Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

#people #factors #child’s #development #television #friends #music

Nowadays, technology has a great influence on every individual irrespective of their ages. It is generally accepted that television, music and friends have a great impact on the child's growth.

On the other hand

, few opine that the family remains an incumbent part in children's development. In my opinion, both of them affect children's growth. In an era where parents are busy in earning money for the betterment of children, the technology, as well as friends, plays an imperative role in a child's life. Children often spend much time with friends and electronic gadgets due to the lack of time provided by their parents. It is often noticed that today's adolescent try to mimic celebrities and cartoons by incubating their habits by watching movies.

Additionally

, a plethora of children

disobey

Change the verb form

disobeys

show examples

their parents by making themselves indulged into television and music.

Further

, friend circle

also

plays a major role to impact the behaviour of children.

However

, most of the children try to copy their parents and family, as they tend to see them daily at home. Children are innocent and they to copy the behaviour of the people in their surroundings.

For instance

, they learn the similar language of their parents.

Moreover

, parents assist the children to walk and take decisions of their life, which he can not learn by watching television. To conclude, technology and friends have a great influence on children's growth compared to parents. If family tend to spend less time with their children,

this

can impact the children mentality as well as his behaviour.

Hence

, parents should realize

this

and try to balance their professional and personal life in bringing up their children.

Submitted by Asad Khan on Sat Oct 24 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this, do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agreee or disagree?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree. You should write at least 250 words.