Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
From the past,
threre
Correct your spelling
there
may be some strong considerations that women should stay home to take good
care
Use synonyms
of babies because are good at it. Even in modern days, most people
also
Linking Words
hold the opinion that men should struggle for earnings and women need to manage well domestic affairs without working life. I don'
t
Use synonyms
completely agree with these opinions and I will state my reasons below. It is indeed that women are good at baby
care
Use synonyms
due to inherent characters
such
Linking Words
as considerable thoughts and carefulness, and they are easier to feed on babies. These traits not only can take good
care
Use synonyms
of babies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
influence them with good factors with which children will pay more attention to details and be patient with issues.
However
Linking Words
, children who are raised up only by
mother
Use synonyms
lack ranges of characters which. could be got from their fathers
such
Linking Words
as strength and courage. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are numerous traits of women that are suitable to raise children, I don'
t
Use synonyms
think it should be finished only by
mother
Use synonyms
. Father
also
Linking Words
plays an indispensable role in
this
Linking Words
process. Being a good
mother
Use synonyms
is one of the greatest roles of a woman, whereas, it isn'
t
Use synonyms
absolutely the only role of her life. Owing to these specific inborn characteristics,
such
Linking Words
as being patient and thoughtful, they can achieve a lot in workplaces. Just as the same reason of being good at childcare for an example, they are
also
Linking Words
suitable for being a good teacher or nurse. They can find out students' problems and concerns
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier compared with
m
Add an article
a
show examples
ale because they are more allergic to emotions and more patient which contribute to achieve their goals or find their values in
w
Add an article
the
show examples
orkplace. To summarise, women not only can become a good
mother
Use synonyms
which is a basic job for them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
can achieve their work values at the same time. They are deserved to go out to contribute to their own working fields, rather than only staying at home to take
care
Use synonyms
of babies, which isn'
t
Use synonyms
the only job for them as.
Submitted by shaolin.shop on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • nurturing
  • empathy
  • sensitivity
  • maternal instinct
  • paternal involvement
  • child's development
  • work-life balance
  • gender equality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: