Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

From the past,
threre
Correct your spelling
there
may be some strong considerations that women should stay home to take good
care
of babies because are good at it. Even in modern days, most people
also
hold the opinion that men should struggle for earnings and women need to manage well domestic affairs without working life. I don'
t
completely agree with these opinions and I will state my reasons below. It is indeed that women are good at baby
care
due to inherent characters
such
as considerable thoughts and carefulness, and they are easier to feed on babies. These traits not only can take good
care
of babies
,
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but
also
influence them with good factors with which children will pay more attention to details and be patient with issues.
However
, children who are raised up only by
mother
lack ranges of characters which. could be got from their fathers
such
as strength and courage. Even though
,
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there are numerous traits of women that are suitable to raise children, I don'
t
think it should be finished only by
mother
. Father
also
plays an indispensable role in
this
process. Being a good
mother
is one of the greatest roles of a woman, whereas, it isn'
t
absolutely the only role of her life. Owing to these specific inborn characteristics,
such
as being patient and thoughtful, they can achieve a lot in workplaces. Just as the same reason of being good at childcare for an example, they are
also
suitable for being a good teacher or nurse. They can find out students' problems and concerns
more
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easier compared with
m
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a
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ale because they are more allergic to emotions and more patient which contribute to achieve their goals or find their values in
w
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the
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orkplace. To summarise, women not only can become a good
mother
which is a basic job for them
,
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but
also
can achieve their work values at the same time. They are deserved to go out to contribute to their own working fields, rather than only staying at home to take
care
of babies, which isn'
t
the only job for them as.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • nurturing
  • empathy
  • sensitivity
  • maternal instinct
  • paternal involvement
  • child's development
  • work-life balance
  • gender equality
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