Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while other require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which do you think is a better education system?

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There are a lot of advantages when students are educated with certain subjects in some institution systems for children at the age of 15;

however

, some schools in which students study all classes before they graduate

also

bring plenty of benefits. In my opinion, I completely agree with the

second

statement. On the one hand, the main advantage of students is educated with lots of other subjects until they graduate. Young people easily find out their strengths. Obviously, children can experience, after that they will make good decisions.

For instance

, some schools in developed countries allow students to study whole subjects;

therefore

, students looked for their favourite subjects which help to develop their careers in the future.

On the other hand

, learners to choose certain subjects to make students receive a lot of benefits. It is clear that, when students just studied major subjects, it will contribute to go down their pressuring. The less heavy program, children can gain more in-depth knowledge.

For example

, if young people learned several subjects rather than studying too much, they would feel more comfortable and enthusiastic about studying. In my opinion, children should be educated only with few subjects in schools. Because of that, young people will not take a lot of time for learning. To illustrate, children spend days studying, and

this

affects negatively their life. Young people should have time to have opportunities to play with family and friends rather than having to study too much. In conclusion, I agree that in the society of modern today institutions should young people learn certain subjects because it brings many benefits namely less pressuring as well as having time to play;

nevertheless

, attending all classes have an advantage

such

as children will be experienced plenty of subjects to find their strength.

Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on Sun Oct 25 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while other require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which do you think is a better education system?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM food. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?