Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? (IELTS 10, AC)

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this

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globalized

world

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, trading and buying have become so affordable and accessible, thanks to the latest technology, that

people

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can purchase whatever they want from anywhere they want. In my perspective,

this

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phenomenon has a plethora of advantages and a lot of potential benefits which makes it a most positive development of the century. The first and foremost reason would definitely be the ease and facility it offers.

For instance

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, each country and nation has

there

Correct your spelling

their

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owned

Replace the word

own

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speciality in electronics, medicine, jewellery and cosmetics.

The online

Correct article usage

Online

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marketing and trade have enabled us to get our hands-on on any product we desire to own,

according to

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the

Change the word

our

show examples

needs. Because of

this

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ease offered, the whole

world

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looks the same as every other home in Europe

own

Correct subject-verb agreement

owns

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a Samsung TV or LG home

appliances

Fix the agreement mistake

appliance

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similarly

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iPhone

Fix the agreement mistake

iPhones

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and Mac-books are popular all over Asia.

Therefore

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, technology has made our culture more and more identical and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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brought

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

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closer.

Furthermore

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, the nations lacking the natural resources have managed to earn through

this

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and the rest of the

world

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has started recognizing them.

For instance

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, countries like Pakistan and Bangladesh

got

Verb problem

became

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famous for their textile industry after gaining access to the

western

Capitalize word

Western

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markets. The clothing brands and other accessories have arrived in the eastern

world

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which has promoted a unified fashion sense in the whole

world

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. With the contribution of these small trends,

this

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world

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has become a true global village.

Hence

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, there is no doubt

Change preposition

about

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the positive contributions of it in bringing

people

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together.

To conclude

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, it is certainly true that

this

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world

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has become so small that anyone can buy the products of his interest from any place all around the globe. In my opinion, it is a positive development

due to

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the facilities

people

Use synonyms

gain from buying the products overseas and the contributions of it to bring the

people

Use synonyms

together.

engr.talha72Mon Oct 26 2020

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content

Consider providing more specific examples and details to support your main points. This will enhance the clarity and relevance of your arguments.

content

Make sure to clearly define the terms "positive development" and discuss potential negative aspects briefly to show a balanced view.

structure

Your introduction clearly states your perspective and sets the tone for the essay, which is very effective.

coherence

You have provided coherent arguments that are logically structured, making it easier for readers to follow your line of reasoning.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? (IELTS 10, AC)

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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