Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? (IELTS 10, AC)

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In
this
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globalized
world
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, trading and buying have become so affordable and accessible, thanks to the latest technology, that
people
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can purchase whatever they want from anywhere they want. In my perspective,
this
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phenomenon has a plethora of advantages and a lot of potential benefits which makes it a most positive development of the century. The first and foremost reason would definitely be the ease and facility it offers.
For instance
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, each country and nation has
there
Correct your spelling
their
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owned
Replace the word
own
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speciality in electronics, medicine, jewellery and cosmetics.
The online
Correct article usage
Online
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marketing and trade have enabled us to get our hands-on on any product we desire to own,
according to
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the
Change the word
our
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needs. Because of
this
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ease offered, the whole
world
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looks the same as every other home in Europe
own
Correct subject-verb agreement
owns
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a Samsung TV or LG home
appliances
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appliance
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,
similarly
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,
iPhone
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iPhones
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and Mac-books are popular all over Asia.
Therefore
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, technology has made our culture more and more identical and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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brought
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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closer.
Furthermore
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, the nations lacking the natural resources have managed to earn through
this
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and the rest of the
world
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has started recognizing them.
For instance
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, countries like Pakistan and Bangladesh
got
Verb problem
became
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famous for their textile industry after gaining access to the
western
Capitalize word
Western
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markets. The clothing brands and other accessories have arrived in the eastern
world
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which has promoted a unified fashion sense in the whole
world
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. With the contribution of these small trends,
this
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world
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has become a true global village.
Hence
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, there is no doubt
in
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about
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the positive contributions of it in bringing
people
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together.
To conclude
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, it is certainly true that
this
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world
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has become so small that anyone can buy the products of his interest from any place all around the globe. In my opinion, it is a positive development
due to
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the facilities
people
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gain from buying the products overseas and the contributions of it to bring the
people
Use synonyms
together.

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content
Consider providing more specific examples and details to support your main points. This will enhance the clarity and relevance of your arguments.
content
Make sure to clearly define the terms "positive development" and discuss potential negative aspects briefly to show a balanced view.
structure
Your introduction clearly states your perspective and sets the tone for the essay, which is very effective.
coherence
You have provided coherent arguments that are logically structured, making it easier for readers to follow your line of reasoning.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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