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Band 7.5

Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe that there are other external factors that influenced us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors
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People have differing views about how to achieve peace of mind in life. While some people believe that it depends on themselves, other consider external factors for being happy. I think that both intrinsic and extrinsic factors lead to a feeling of happiness. On the one hand, for many people, the sense pf pleasure is derived from their attitude on life. They indicate that having a positive outlook can relieve the pains of causes that they enjoy living in the hectic lifestyle. When individuals get pleasure from plenty of things
such
 as playing, laughing, spending time with family and friends and so on, they can feel an inner satisfaction which is a kind of enjoyment.
Hence
, happiness depends on our conditions. If one is not content with her or his current circumstances, they do not have to bear them and can change or improve them to be delighted.
On the other hand
, other extrinsic factors make people feel happy: what some basic preconditions to achieve joy is. It is hard for a person to be happy if he or she does not have a safe place for living, enough food to eat and even a good income; these basic survival needs must be met before individuals can lead a pleasant life. There are many disadvantaged people,
for example
, suffer from a disease and cannot afford cure costs just because of not having enough money.
Therefore
, they may not feel cheerful. In conclusion, I personally believe that,
however
, our thinking way is a primitive factor for being happy, I admit that other external factors are overshadowed our cheerfulness.
Submitted by phamnhung0007 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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