Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and the poorest. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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The is currently a contentious argument over whether to have a cheerful community it depends on only the reduction of income distinction between wealthy and poorer

people

Use synonyms

. I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

affirmation because

people

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

depend on other aspects

such

Linking Words

as health and security to have a minimum of dignity that makes them happy. The main reason why I believe that

people

Use synonyms

depend on medical conditions to be happy is

due to

Linking Words

be in

Verb problem

their

show examples

well-being.

Thus

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can not be happy if they do not have a satisfactory health condition, which in most cases depends on a State intervention because if you have the

money

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you can not buy healthy so it is irrelevant to equate poorer and

richest

Replace the word

richer

show examples

wage

Fix the agreement mistake

wages

show examples

differences. To illustrate, when it comes

about

Change preposition

show examples

the current pandemic situation, it does not matter if

people

Use synonyms

are wealthy or not since the coronavirus brought fear and sadness for most

people

Use synonyms

around the world

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for those who lost relatives. Another reason why I support the notion that contentment is not just about

money

Use synonyms

is owing to the fact that

people

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

need to feel safe. As aforementioned, a great portion of

people

Use synonyms

do not focus their lives on

money

Use synonyms

for example

Linking Words

, some

people

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fill

Verb problem

feel

show examples

better not having

money

Use synonyms

since they would feel unsafe.

Therefore

Linking Words

to have

Change the verb form

having

show examples

money

Use synonyms

and not being secure

lead

Replace the word

leads

show examples

people

Use synonyms

tackle

Verb problem

fight

show examples

against fear on

regular

Correct article usage

a regular

show examples

bases

Fix the agreement mistake

basis

show examples

and

as a consequence

Linking Words

, they

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

feel happy. In conclusion, It is believed that other aspects of life are more important than

money

Use synonyms

when it comes to happiness which I totally agree

Change preposition

with.

show examples

The community depend on much more

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

and security to

fell

Correct your spelling

feel

show examples

happy than just

money

Use synonyms

Submitted by Marcel on Wed Oct 28 2020

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task response

Provide more specific examples and develop your ideas further to strengthen your argument.

coherence coherence

Ensure a clearer organization of your ideas by using transition words and logical sequencing of paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and the poorest. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage from using their cars?

Some people think that universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Q) Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. others, however, think that change is always a good thing. discuss both views and give your opinion.