IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Now a day people using social media to keep in touch with other and we aware of the news do the advantage of this outcome the disadvantage

#people #media #touch #news #advantage #outcome
The chart compares the amount of
water
 used globally in agriculture, industries and homes in cubic
kilometre
 from 1900 to 2000 and
water
 used in Brazil and Congo in 2000. Overall, global use of
water
 rose significantly over the years and agriculture accounted for the largest proportion of the
water
 used.
Also
,
water
 consumption was higher in Brazil than in Congo. It is evident that worldwide use of
water
 for farming was around 500 cubic kilometres in 1990, which rose steadily to about 1000 cubic
kilometre
 in 1950,
thereafter
 it shot up by almost 300 per cent in
next
 50 years. Whereas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
water
 used for industry and domestically were negligible in the beginning, and from 1950 onwards it showed an increase in its use, and by 2000 it rose significantly to approximately 300 cubic
kilometre
Change to a plural noun
kilometres
show examples
 for household needs and little over 1000 cubic kilometres for factories.
Furthermore
, in 2000 there was about one 176,000,000 residents in Brazil and 26,500
kilometre
 square of farmland, while ,Congo had just over 5,000,000 people and 100
kilometre
 square off agricultural land.
Additionally
,
water
 consumed per person in Brazil was almost 40 times more than Congo.
Submitted by jomontjacob23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: