IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some cities create new housing for their growing populations by constructing a smaller number of high-rise buildings. Other cities create more of low-rise buildings. Which solution is better, in your opinion?

#cities #populations #buildings #low-rise
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Rising
Correct article usage
The rising
show examples
 population in urban areas leave
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 no choice but to make more
buildings
 to accommodate more people.
However
, when it comes to construction, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more than one
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 to build new homes. Some cities prefer to build a low number of tall
buildings
,
while
 others construct a large number of
low rise
Add a hyphen
low-rise
show examples
buildings
.
According to
 me, both have their own pros and cons based on location availability. There are numerous advantages of constructing tall
buildings
. First and foremost
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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, it can accommodate more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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people, which is the best solution when a government has less land to allocate.
For example
, 55% of New York citizens
live-in
Correct your spelling
live in
show examples
 towers in order to match the uprising demand for housing.
Furthermore
, as there are enough houses for everyone, the rent is always less. So, it positively affects the economy and citizen's
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
However
, on the downside,
such
 structures offer less or no privacy,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is the main concern.
Also
, every resident has to follow certain rules resulting in restriction
instead
 of freedom. Concurrently, proponents of low-rise
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 mention that it works best for big families or join families, where the whole family can live together ensuring to have a family bonding.
In addition
 to
this
, the elder generation finds more
conform
Correct your spelling
comfort
show examples
 in private houses, as it gives them the flexibility to move freely. Despite the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
, there are some downsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
such
 construction.
For instance
, it requires more land so there are possibilities that working people might have to travel more to reach their destination, resulting
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a negative effect on their lifestyle. To recapitulate, I believe both types of structure have their own merits and demerits. In fact, it highly depends on the city council, if they have more land, more elderly generation, and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 transport system
then
 low-rise
buildings
 are suitable,
otherwise
 highrise towers.
Submitted by Nirbhay on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the writer's opinion and sets up the structure of the essay. Also, develop a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the writer's opinion.
task response
Make sure to fully address the prompt by clearly stating and supporting a preference for one type of building over the other. Additionally, provide a clear overall thesis statement that addresses the pros and cons of both types of buildings.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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