IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, young people are living in richer and healthier condition but less happy. What are the reasons? What might be done to solve this issue?

People have different views about how bad situations should
manage
Wrong verb form
be managed
show examples
 and what to do right. There are two ways to control unexpected cases
;
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 accept
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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whatever happened or try to change how it
supposed
Verb problem
is supposed
show examples
 to be. I tend the agree with the view
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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 status can handle it if we ignore and decide to develop.
Firstly
Linking Words
, undesired things can happen to everyone. So it shouldn’t be considered
such
Linking Words
as
Use the right word
a
show examples
 terrible faith or mistake. The significant point is
for
Correct word choice
that for
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this
Linking Words
 topic, troubles are not the end of the world. If we do the right moves to save them, we can change even
it
Correct word choice
if it
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 is a bit.
Also
Linking Words
, knowing
to
Rephrase
how to
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 struggle with bad situations will give self-confidence to individuals.
However
Linking Words
, when they are accepted, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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not
Verb problem
nothing left
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 to do remain
although
Linking Words
may
Verb problem
apply
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it could be improved.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some cases won’t
worth
Verb problem
be worth
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 it to spend time to fix.
Therefore
Linking Words
, thinking clearly about the situation is inevitably another important point.
For instance
Linking Words
, a student
doesn’t
Verb problem
is not
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satisfy
Replace the word
satisfied
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 with his or her study department. It is possible because sometimes our dream jobs are not like what we imagine. But, if
this
Linking Words
 student doesn’t switch the department and continues to study it, he or she will never have the job which does
gladly
Verb problem
will gladly
show examples
 and successfully
.
Verb problem
have.
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This
Linking Words
 irreversible decision could affect the whole life. In conclusion,
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 or at least
try
Wrong verb form
trying to improve
show examples
 the
worse
Correct word choice
worst
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 situations could be really precious. Sometimes to take risks would really save and change lives. All we need is just to be brave and
inspiration
Replace the word
inspired
show examples
.

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tip
State a clear line in the intro and restate it in the end. Use shorter, clear sentences.
improvement
Fix grammar: check verb form, article use, and plural nouns. Use simple, common forms.
tip
Add more detail to each point. Give more than one example where you can.
tip
Use more linking words to move from one idea to the next and to show contrast.
strength
The writer shows a clear view and uses some example.
strength
There is an attempt at a plan and a conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Materialism
  • Consumerism
  • Social isolation
  • Technological advancement
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Mindfulness
  • Stress management
  • Resilience
  • Mental health
  • Well-being
  • Competitive world
  • Expectations
  • Pressure
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Leisure activities
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