IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #career #path #lives #life
In the era of advancement, what will be the right
age
 to start work is becoming a topic of discussion.
However
, the chunk of folks believes that the people should start their jobs at their early
age
 which tends to the successful working
life
. I strongly agree with the statement and
this
 essay will discuss why it is important to find an opportunity early in the terms of promotion in
job
 and to save more money for future use as well.
To begin
 with, the young adults who in rush to occupy a position at an early
age
 can get a higher probability of promotions during their duties. Because they started early and with the experience, they can get the priorities all the time.
For instance
, if a teenager joins the company and after 5 years, his organization wants to hire someone on a manager post,
then
 he will be the
first
 preference to move to the
next
 level
job
 because he knows all the details about the products including the manufacture, and sales. It could be a great opportunity for him to get a higher rank in the company. But if he joins the
job
 in his thirties, he might not get the promotion.
Furthermore
, early work
life
 is better to collect some funds for future use or maybe for the family. As who is the only person for making money for the family, will get a longer period of time to save the resources. To exemplify, if one boy is the only source of earning,
then
 he can start saving the capital for his and his family's future. He can plan to move to abroad for the better
life
 of his family in his forties as he has already funds ready. Overall, it has numerous benefits to start searching for jobs as early as possible. To conclude,a profession is an important part of everyone's
life
 these days. Some people consider that it is necessary to have a
job
 at an early
age
 in order to enjoy a satisfying work
life
.
This
 essay discussed how it can be beneficial for promotions and finance. In my opinion, I absolutely agree with the fact.
Submitted by rbhullar561 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: