The number of people suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people believe that alternative medicine can help. Do you agree that alternative medicines are effective?

#people #health #lifestyle #medicines #alternative #medicine

Many diseases like cancer,heart diseases and others have become widespread in nations around the world.

Although

, there has been a tremendous development in a medical healthcare system,

however

, many ailments are having no reliable

alophatic

Correct your spelling

allopathic

aliphatic

drugs for its cure.I believe that there is no other way of combating these

disseases

Correct your spelling

diseases

rather than taking precautions.

Firstly

, being

habitiual

Correct your spelling

habitual

habitually

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

modern medicine could lead to

a drastic long-term side effects

Correct the article-noun agreement

drastic long-term side effects

a drastic long-term side effect

show examples

thus

increasing the trouble for the one. To

further

explain, while going through the treatment of one health issue with those modern medicines, it can be a cause of other organ malfunction.

For instance

, while going through the

chemotherepy

Correct your spelling

chemotherapy

, one of my

friend

Change to a plural noun

friends

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lost all the hair on his head.

Secondly

, consuming any kind of

the

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apply

show examples

foreign antidote weakens the immune system of a living being,

thus

making him hotspot for many other health problems.Especially, when the latest medicines are considered, they have proven to be

extreamly

Correct your spelling

extremely

dangerous for the human body

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

system.One clear example is

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apply

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new anti-depression tablets which absolutely, kills the Red Blood cells,

thus

exposing the person to various infections. To conclude, we must ponder upon avoiding the usage of these new era medicines and let ourselves be fit enough to be far away from deteriorating illnesses.

Moreover

, we should try being in good health by doing workouts, as it is well said that "prevention is better than care".

Submitted by Musaib ul hassan on Mon Nov 02 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The number of people suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people believe that alternative medicine can help. Do you agree that alternative medicines are effective?

Fully explain your ideas

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandparents. Why do you think this is? What are the consequences of this trend?

With the rapid development of communication technology, e.g smart phones, tablets and other communication devices, some people believe that the disadvantages of these devices outweigh their advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Prevention is better than cure. research and treatment are costly, it is beneficial in investing in preventive measures

The government is spending a lot of money to discover life in other planets some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money Addressing problems of public To what extent you agree or disagree?