Some say thatr advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Residents claim that advertisements are super successful at making us to purchase things,
however
, others think that commercials are so ordinary that
people
no longer pays particular notice to them. In my opinion, it depends on what the commercial is about and when we saw it. The primary reason is that, nowadays we can see advertisings all over the world. Companies try to come with new ideas and search different ways to make
people
buy things from them.
Additionally
, when we are using our electronical devices we can see advertisings and sometimes it makes us annoyed. So, in
this
kind of situations advertisements is just boring for
people
.
For example
:
while
we are watching movie from a random website suddenly a page can open and we can see some skippable or non-skippable ads and we are just waiting for when
this
ad will end, and it is not interesting for us anymore.
Nevertheless
while
we are watching TV some commercial can show up about a thing which is we are really curious about.
Moreover
, sometimes the commercial can be like short movies
for example
: it can be about how to send aid to the
people
who need it, and in commercial we can see about their
life
. It makes citizens notice how difficult the
life
actually is and we really appreciate it. All in all, ads can make our
life
more colorfull and may help us to notice some essential parts of humanity, nature, and
life
,
however
, the time and the way that they show it to us is really important.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Although the essay addresses the prompt and provides a discussion of both views, it could be improved by providing more elaborate and specific examples.
clear comprehensive ideas
Enhance the explanations by providing specific instances and details that clearly reflect the impact and pervasiveness of advertisements.
coherence cohesion
There are notable spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'advertisings' instead of 'advertisements,' and 'electronical devices' instead of 'electronic devices.' Proofreading and refining sentence structures will improve clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Providing a stronger conclusion will help to summarize the discussion and reinforce the main points of the essay. This enhances overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives on the given topic, which is a strong point for task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • capture attention
  • emotional engagement
  • targeting techniques
  • tailor ads
  • preferences
  • celebrity endorsements
  • influencer marketing
  • psychological tactics
  • scarcity
  • urgency
  • ad fatigue
  • effectiveness
  • coping mechanisms
  • ad blockers
  • saturated markets
  • innovative strategies
  • traditional methods
  • digital media
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