IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as a part of curriculum. To what extent do you agree?

#children #exercise #responsibility #parents #schools #waste #school #time #sports #lessons #part #curriculum
Some people argue that the responsibility for children to have a regular physical exercise should be of the parents. So schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as a part of the study curriculum. I strongly disagree with the previous statement for several reasons.
Firstly
, sport is something essential for children as it could improve their lifestyle and could bring benefit to their health.
Moreover
, sport helps children to establish relationship and team working skills.
For instance
, recent studies suggest that a vast majority ( nearly 80% ) of children that practice sports in early years are more likely to avoid certain illness
such
 as diabetes and overweight in the
next
 years.
Secondly
, as we said before, sport is a mean of socialization. Children that exercise at school will join a squad,
therefore
 they will be forced to deal with team-play and,
as a result
, they can learn how to maintain a relationship and how to deal with other members of the company. To cite an example, when I was young I was playing in a football team, the relation among the squad players that comes out is so strong that nowadays, after more than 15 years, we continue to meet each other on a regular basis. To sum up, I believe that both schools and parents need to teach to children how important and beneficial athletics could be for their future,
also
 the number of students involved in sports activities could be improved by creating personalized lessons based on students preferences about different sports.
Submitted by Niccolò on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: