IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Children should be given freedom to take decisions. Do you agree or disagree?

It is
w
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a
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idely held belief that young minds should be given liberty to
take
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make
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 their own decisions.
However
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, I am antithetical to
this
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 belief system due to multifarious reasons which will be discussed in the light of several factors in forthcoming paragraphs.
First
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 and foremost reason is the lack of knowledge in social, politics and economy. Children are not
skillful
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skilful
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 enough which could lead to the illogical decision and could be detrimental for their career and future. With the support of elderly people, they can explore the significant things which would be lucrative in their life. Another point worth mentioning that the adolescents are gullible due to which they could prone to illegal activities
such
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 as drug addiction or alcohol consumption by the people who can confidently lie and attract them to
such
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 addictions. These activities are making a chilling effect on them and emerge out to be a menace. In a recent survey carried out by an eminent psychologist
Dr.
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Dr
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 Thomas Hales who revealed that the majority of children addicted to unlawful activities are mainly due to misguidance of the
criminal
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criminally
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 minded people. Sometimes, the rigid
behavior
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behaviour
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 of parents could
also
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 make a strong impact on young minds due to which they find their life restricted and confined to limited things. But, by proper guidance and intervention of family could make
such
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 incidents healthy as the thought the process of children is fragile which could be altered in any direction. While encapsulating, I find children did not have experience of essential things which has paramount importance due to which they must be under the proper surveillance of their parents who will act as a guiding force in their anticipated future

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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