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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

#people #drinks #drink
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In
this
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 modern era, people tend to follow trendy lifestyle even if it cost their financial security and health issues. Drinking high caloric-drinks that are carbonated is on the rise among individuals, especially the young generation. I believe that every community can establish ways together with government to bring social awareness regarding
this
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 matter. There are various reasons why people still drink unhealthy refreshments even if they know the detrimental effects of it.
Firstly
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, people are more likely to be influenced by what they watch on televisions and by what they see on the social medium. Conglomerate and even small companies take advantage of
this
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 platform and they will hire well-known personality to promote their own product,
thus
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, increasing the number of their consumers. People have always
this
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 notion that they need to keep up with society even if their monetary budget and health state are at risk.
Secondly
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, people’s unchanging unhealthy lifestyle.
Consequently
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, people are used to drinking carbonic beverages for no reason any time of the day; so it will be hard for them to quit without a strong will and consistency. People need to be more aware of their drink’s sugar content level and to control their guilty pleasures. To minimize the intake of unnecessary sugar level; government should regulate the production, selling, procurement and promotion of these kinds of drinks. The legislative of the state should impose restricted product promotion and be held accountable for the long term side effects it brought to the consumer.
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, the public must be educated well and be informed thoroughly with the damaging effects of the continuous and uncontrolled intake of carbonated drinks.
Instead
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, they must opt for safer and healthier drinks like coconut water or pure fruit juices.
Submitted by kikojevie on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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