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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #climate #change #disagree？
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Climate
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change
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 has been raising concerns in recent decades. Given the potential risks that
this
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 problem may result in severe consequences, governments and individuals are straining their brains to alleviate the existing situation and prevent future deterioration.
However
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, some people regard proposals of solutions as futile,
while
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humans
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 should learn to co-exist with
climate
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change
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. Having presented their arguments, I completely disagree with their opinions.
Climate
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change
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 is a fundamental problem for many other environmental problems,
such
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 as biodiversity loss and extreme weather.
For instance
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, global warming deprives habitats for polar bears and penguins, and many other species of plants are in danger
as a result
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; drought and sudden temperature changes are becoming more common than in the past, directly impacting agriculture and causing health issues among animals and
humans
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. Solving
climate
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change
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 can
also
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 mitigate other related problems, fostering a more wholesome ecosystem. What’s more, human activity is the key factor causing
climate
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change
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. The emission of greenhouse gases,
such
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 as carbon dioxide and fumes from factory chimneys, is the primary cause of
climate
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change
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. Even though
humans
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 realize and call a stop
for
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to
show examples
 all harmful activities, it still takes time to restore the original balance. It is understandable why people contend to live with
climate
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change
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, which they see as part of natural evolution. The
climate
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 had and has always been changing as time went by, from the Jurassic Age to the Stone Age.
Therefore
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,
instead
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 of interrupting the natural paces of
climate
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change
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, it would be better to co-evolve with it.
Nevertheless
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, these people ignore the fact that human intervention is an external factor in catalyzing
climate
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change
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 and deteriorating the ecosystem. The rationale behind the argument to live with
climate
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change
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 fails to consider
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 impacts made by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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, and without any intervention, the consequences of
climate
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changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 will fall on our
humans
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. In conclusion,
climate
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change
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 is a problem that we should take seriously. Indeed, browsing through history, the
climate
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 has always been changing, but
humans
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 may accelerate or exacerbate the
change
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. The importance is highlighted by the fact that
climate
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change
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 is both the root cause of other problems and the results attributed partly to human behaviour.
Submitted by wusiying2001 on

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task achievement
Add more specific examples to illustrate key points, such as countries or industries changing in response to climate change.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow and coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the writer's position on the topic and outlines the main points of the essay.
logical structure
Each paragraph logically supports the writer's argument, maintaining a strong focus throughout.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas on why living with climate change is not a viable solution.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Preventive measures
  • Mitigation
  • Adaptation strategies
  • Sustainability
  • Green technology
  • Resilience
  • Carbon footprint
  • Climate resilience
  • Sustainable development
  • Biodiversity
  • Renewable energy
  • Environmental policy
  • Global warming
  • Ecosystem services
What to do next:
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