IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children).

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
Helping people could bring lots of benefits to the public and participants themselves. Some people might that we should include unpaid
community
service
 activities into high
school
 programs
such
 as helping poor people or improving the neighbourhood. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
 idea and I think taking part in support services for the public could help high
school
 students learn important things in their life and profit the
community
. On the one hand, I believe being involved in unpaid
community
service
 activities could both teach children some good things they should learn at their age and bring more benefits to the public.
Firstly
, helping people would teach children about sympathy and how to work with others as a team. Because of that, they can learn some important soft skills which help them know about connecting people or leadership.
As a result
, those skills and knowledge could help students be more successful in the future.
Secondly
, high
school
 students have the ability to do public support services better than other ages. In fact, they have enough strength, more
time
, and willing to listen to other advice which might help support
service
 activities work effectively.
On the other hand
, some problems would occur when we do unpaid
community
service
 as a subject. Teachers may not have enough abilities to teach and manage those activities.
Consequently
, we might need more training and courses for educators to provide the knowledge and experiments. Those movements would cost
time
 and money.
Moreover
, those skills which students get from helping people activities may not benefit their interests and their career at all.
Thus
, they would found out that those activities just wasted their
time
 and their efforts so they could fail their classes.
However
, some adjustments would fix those disadvantages, the same as other subjects. In fact, we need
time
 for teachers to get used to the program and for students to know if they are good at it or not. To sum up, I believe with some proper adjustment, bringing unpaid
community
service
 into the high
school
 programs could benefit both the
community
 and students in various ways.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • neighborhood improvement
  • teaching sports
  • empathy
  • social justice
  • transferable skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • problem-solving
  • civic duty
  • civic engagement
  • educational enhancement
  • practical experiences
  • academic learning
  • real-world applications
  • social cohesion
  • mutual support
  • time management
  • balancing priorities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: