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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Zoos are inhumane and pointless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#zoos
Zoo has been as
a
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an
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 entertainment place for many years. Some believe that capturing
a
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the
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nimal and keeping them in a small cage is against their rights.
This
 essay will explain why I strongly agree with
this
 view. One of the main
factor
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factors
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 that I think keeping animals in places other than their natural habitat extremely cruel is
c
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to
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hange their behaviour.
This
 because they have
gain
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gained
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 some skills during their lives in wildlife nature, and separating them from their place where they belong lead to loss of their ability for hunting or predatory skills. Lions,
for example
, are not able to make their food after
u
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an
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pbringing in the cages where every morning
are
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is
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 feed through humans.
This
 loss of
a
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the
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bility of animals which are grown through humans has been proved on different species in large scale research which has been done in Australia.
In addition
, negative educational effect of
z
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the
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oo is another reason that
make
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makes
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 me against them. Growing animals in the cage where we can exhibit them to children
has
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have
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 a dire effect on their learning process. They think it is human
right
 to exploit them as
a
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an
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 entertainment tool which is far from those capture animal
right
. If we want to learn them ethics including animal
right
, respect to nature or human
right
, we need to be a good role model for them.
In other words
, keeping animal in capture which is not the best interest of them were taught to children. In conclusion, wildlife parks are popular among people. Opponents,
me
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I
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 included think they are not useful. Two main
reason
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reasons
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 for that
are
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is
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 that those habitats cause animals loos of their intimate trait as well as
d
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the
a
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ire educational effect on children’s mindset about
r
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the
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ight of other species.
Submitted by samineh.hashemi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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