There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that
money
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is a major reason people remain with a
company
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.
This
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essay disagrees with that view, arguing that family and
health
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are more influential motivators. One of the main reasons someone would continue to work for a
company
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would be the ability to spend time with their family after work. When a job demands long hours from the employees, it causes a rift between family members as they are unable to spend quality time together.
Consequently
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, families drift apart as the members become more and more alienated.
For instance
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, in the USA, nurses who work a significant number of hours per week have higher divorce rates than those who do not, despite being well paid.
This
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illustrates that
although
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they earn a decent living,
money
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cannot substitute for family.
However
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, earning less means the family stays together. Another reason they might stay employed at a
company
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would be because they receive
health
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benefits, which could include free or discounted gym memberships, access to private doctors or
health
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insurance. These benefits allow employees to stay fit and healthy, and they are looked upon favourably by employees because haleness is more valuable than
money
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.
For example
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, employers in America often include
health
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insurance in their employee's packages in hopes that it will influence their decision, even though the offered salary might be lower than the market value.
This
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therefore
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displays the importance of
health
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compared to wealth. In conclusion, people stay at a
company
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for a number of reasons. I disagree with the statement that
money
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is the primary motivator
,
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apply
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because I believe that it is family and haleness which are the main motivators.

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are clearly explained and supported with specific details or examples to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to avoid minor spelling errors (e.g. 'haleness' should be 'wholeness' or 'health') to improve readability and professionalism.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the argument flows logically and that ideas are well-connected with appropriate linking words or phrases.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents a disagreeing viewpoint and develops arguments around family and health as motivators, which shows engagement with the topic.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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