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Writing Samples
Band 4

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #visit
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More and more people are visiting tough
places
Use synonyms
 like
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Antarctic
Correct article usage
the Antarctic
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 and
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
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 desert, these days. Though it was almost impossible to think of touring
places
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 like them just a couple of decades back, it has become some of the
desirable
Correct quantifier usage
most desirable
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places
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 to travel to adventurous travellers. It has become practical now
due to
Linking Words
 the immense development of technologies
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
touring
Correct article usage
the touring
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 and travelling industries. With the help of
close to perfect
Add a hyphen
close-to-perfect
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 weather forecasting,
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 can now easily measure the riskiest time in terms of extreme weather conditions.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they can take proper safeguarding instruments
what
Correct word choice
that
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 they might need to protect themselves and can decide to postpone their trip for a day or two depending on the current weather conditions. There are some obvious reasons for the popularity growth of touring these extreme
places
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 and some of them could be considered beneficial as well. The first and foremost reason is,
it
Correct word choice
that it
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 is an astounding
journey
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to
Change preposition
for
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 many adventurous people, especially,
to
Change preposition
for
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 those who love risk-taking travelling.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it gives tourists a priceless experience. Because it is impossible for many of us to tour a hazardous place like the
Antarctic
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 where on average temperature remains well below -60' Celsius. Only a handful of tourists can afford to achieve
this
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 precious experience.
Finally
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, it helps grow confidence in many travellers. Surely, you can expect anyone to feel more confident than those who have never
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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travelled through
the
Correct article usage
a
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 path like Sahana desolate, where the sun is constantly boiling your head at noon. Even though there are some benefits of travelling to
such
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 adventurous
places
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, there are,
however
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, some disadvantages too. The number one problem of
such
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 a tour is, it is a life-risking expedition. Because you may easily die if you find yourself in a
desert-storm
Correct your spelling
desert storm
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 and your body might never be recovered by your family if your body
stuck
Add a missing verb
is stuck
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 under the pile of
desert-sand
Correct your spelling
desert sand
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. Similar things could
also
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 happen in the icy snow wind in the
Antarctic
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.
Secondly
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, it is a highly expensive
journey
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 for many. Even if you are living in the nearest countries of
Use synonyms
Antarctic
Correct article usage
the Antarctic
show examples
, you have to spend a lot of money to travel there. Because no regular flights are there for you to book a flight with return tickets. You should
also
Linking Words
 spend a great deal of money on purchasing your safety equipment.
Finally
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, it is an arduous
journey
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 which can be done by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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extremely bold people. Any feeble person
dares
Correct pronoun usage
who dares
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 to go
for
Change preposition
on
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this
Linking Words
 kind of trip is more likely to cause harm to himself.
Above all
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, travelling to extreme
places
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 is so
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
exciting and adventurous and has many benefits too if a sufficient amount of safety measures and precautions are taken. At the same time, it is a very dangerous
journey
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 to many with an exception for those who are extremely daring and robust and like to go for an adventurous trip.
Submitted by bd_rume on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking landscapes
  • unique ecosystems
  • sense of adventure
  • personal growth
  • indigenous cultures
  • environmental conservation
  • climate change
  • environmental degradation
  • economically disadvantaged areas
  • physical health
  • harsh weather
  • difficult terrain
  • limited access to medical facilities
  • fragile ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • basic amenities
What to do next:
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