IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Topic: University education should be free for all students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Education plays a crucial role in the conversion of
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 dreams into reality. Study experts often proposed that the government should provide free tertiary learning to all learners. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
Linking Words
 two main reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 transformation will
hand-over
Use the right word
hand over
show examples
 an opportunity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 learning to all teenagers.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 development will remove differences of caste and colour
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society.
This
Linking Words
 essay will strengthen these arguments in detail with relevant examples. First of all,
subsidized
Change the spelling
subsidised
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 education provides an opportunity to study for all pupils. It has been observed that poverty-stricken
students
Use synonyms
 often skip college training and commence a new job with
less
Correct word choice
a lower
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 salary.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, brilliant
students
Use synonyms
 could not achieve the desired success
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whom
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 they deserve.
For example
Linking Words
, the latest survey by " The London Times" reveals that when
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 2019, the UK government launched free teaching to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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college
students
Use synonyms
their
Punctuation problem
, their
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 literacy rate proliferated from 80% to 90%.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in order to improve the literacy rate, higher authorities should facilitate the provision of free tertiary learning to all
students
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 development mitigates the issue of caste and colour differences
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society. If
students
Use synonyms
 from all
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
 of the community
will
Verb problem
apply
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share a common class or seating,
then
Linking Words
 their social distances among scholars will automatically eliminate.
As a result
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,
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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 may live
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 peace and harmony.
For instance
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, in past, I attended a government college where I made friends from all religions and enjoyed their family functions as well.
Hence
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,
this
Linking Words
 innovative decision of free study can play a pivotal role in binding the nation together. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the higher authorities should provide free tertiary education to all
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
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 of
societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is primarily because not only
Linking Words
this development will
Correct word order
will this development
show examples
 hand-over an opportunity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 learning to all teenagers
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
 it will remove differences of caste and colour
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society.

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strength
Your view is clear and you give two main reasons.
improvement
Give more full facts and better examples to back up ideas. Some claims seem not checked.
improvement
Fix grammar and make sentences simple and correct.
improvement
Make ideas flow well with smoother links and better topic sentences.
strength
Clear choice and straight answer to the topic.
strength
Two main ideas are easy to find in the essay.
strength
Good use of 'First of all' and 'Secondly' to show order.
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