IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in term of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

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We are leaving in the world of technology, which is a wonderful place. It is growing in leaps and bounds. The topic in which, I shall be discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition about seems unecessary after the verb discussing. Consider removing the preposition.

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its utilities and
otherwise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. To start with
p
Add an article
the

The noun phrase positive side seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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ositive side of the coin, There is so much work have been simplified by the computer age. Knowledge has helped us to grow and develop. It has made our life simpler and easy. Forinsatnace, If we need to know someone address, it's just a click away. Earlier getting someone basic stuff was
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 a difficult task and with it
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase with it. Consider adding a comma.

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a lot more hassle
use
Change the verb form
uses

The plural verb use does not appear to agree with the singular subject a lot more hassle. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 to be. Human's have developed machinery to help themselves
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker so that. Consider removing the comma.

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 so that they can develop in multiple ways.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Initially
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Initially. Consider adding a comma.

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nobody would have thought about reaching to moon and stars. It was just a miracle for the people.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, now the scenario is completely is different. People know the fact and
y
Add an article
the

It appears that an article is missing before the word young. Consider adding the article.

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oung generation is more interested to explore things.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Although. Consider removing the comma.

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 there are advantages, It
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 carries its own sets of disadvantages. Applied science has certain limitation. which is bizarre to accept that any problem cannot be handle with mankind. As an illustration, the muddle created with the internet
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as security bridge and leaking of valuable date, It the major concern.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase However. Consider adding a comma.

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there is
a
Add an article
an

The noun phrase alternative solution seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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lternative solution
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 available to solve it, like increasing the screening time and more one-time password concepts etc's. The most recent incident of
s
Add an article
a

The noun phrase similar situation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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imilar situation
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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 had happed
c
Change the article
a

It appears that the phrase couple does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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ouple of months
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word ago.

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 ago, Due to incompetence of few programs. Some of
h
Add an article
the

The phrase Some of huge chunk may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

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uge chunk was debited from a personal account. But due to few experts, it was credited again. So, I do not agree with the sentence mentioned and I believe, we should not glorify our darkness rather we should count our blessing.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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